I am REALLY FUCKING GOOD at Wheel of Fortune.

Dear Pat, Vanna, Merv, and all you wonderful folks down at Sony Pictures Entertainment:

This is half blog post, half open letter to the casting crew for Wheel of Fortune. You see, I have been in love with Wheel of Fortune since I was in the fourth grade. (Sorry Carl, some things run deeper.) Every night at 7:30 PM, I would call my grandmother and we would watch Wheel of Fortune together and try to solve the puzzles. This went on for two years, until I got too much homework that half an hour on the phone was too much trouble. My love for the game, however, has not faltered.

I was there through the set changes, through the new touch-screen board, through the inception of the Wheel Watchers Club (of which I am a member) and countless prize puzzles. I would give my left leg to get on the show. I have put in applications on the site, I watch endlessly for the Wheelmobile, but yet my dream evades me.

Fifth grade birthday present.

I have a keen eye for puzzles of this nature. I am very good at spelling and occasionally feel the need to throw things at the television when people don’t get puzzles right away. (BANQUET ROOM.) Don’t worry, though. If I were on the show, I would not throw a single thing. I would, however, be the following:

a) a great contestant
b) engaging, exciting, fun, but not embarrassing
c) really good at the game and potentially win

I also promise not to wear any extravagant dresses. That way, people won’t mistake me for Vanna. Not that I look like Vanna, but we can’t run the risk. I may, however, have to dye my hair pink again. It has been my life goal to get on Wheel of Fortune and I think that together, we can make this happen.

In short, I think I would be a vital asset to your show and if for whatever reason you need to get in touch with me, I can be contacted via elysetheamazing AT gmail DOT com.

Very truly yours,
Elyse

ps: I’m serious.

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3 responses to “I am REALLY FUCKING GOOD at Wheel of Fortune.

  1. We obviously have to play that game next time we get together. WHEEL OF FORTUNE IS AMAZING. I hope that this blog post gets you on the show. 😀

    • YES! The spinner is a bit broken but the game is still as functional as ever. We played it when the power went out during Irene a few weeks ago.

      Thanks ❤ Wish me luck!!!

  2. Pingback: TT Review: The Life of Reilly | The Tattooed Trilobite·

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